|A good Mommy is like a good helmet…protection in the event of a fall!|
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday, and like most of our time together our conversation drifted into territory that made me take a candid look at myself. We stumbled upon the topic of motherhood and she inquired, “What’s the point of being a Stay-At-Home-Mom?”
I know…this is waaaay deep for a Wednesday morning, but its definitely worth exploring.
My friend responded to her own question by saying that “for [her], the point is to develop good citizens,” (a point I’ve heard Phil make time and time again, but with the caveat: we need more good citizens to override the idiots). Still, it’s a perspective that I can totally agree with, but isn’t necessarily my reasoning for staying home with my girls.
As we talked further I realized that my decision to stay at home with my girls is to some degree rooted in (wait for it)… fear.
It’s not that I think that staying home with the girls will render them smarter or savvier than Jane’s daycare baby down the street; it’s that I fear that someone could hurt them, mistreat them or misguide them if not under my watchful eye. I think about how innocent and defenseless they are against the world, a world that I’ve found to be confusing, unfair and cruel at times. At this stage, I just want to be the constant in their lives during a time when everything is new and different. I want to be available to them (in the moment) to decipher what they find confusing, diffuse what they find overwhelming, and shelter them when needed. My end goal is not fear-mongering, but rather a healthy awareness of their environment (and the world at large) so that they may feel prepared and sure of themselves to thrive within it.
Could someone else usher them into this “brave new world”? Sure, they could! But would they instruct in the same loving, patient and nurturing way that Momma Mina can? No way! As J-Buddah and Zo-Zo’s Mommy, I was chosen for this role…for this time.
I know that my fears should not dictate my actions… but the reality is that they do. And while these feelings can’t be wrapped up in a big bow and returned to sender, I know that this fear (which is both healthy and unhealthy) is something to be reckoned with. In fact, everyday as I watch the girls become more and more independent in their motor and social skills, my white knuckled grip on their tiny existence is loosened just a little bit more. They’re slowly mastering their brave new world.
What fear governs your actions?