So I’ve been trying as of late (confession: it’s only been 2 days) to carve out 2 tangible hours of the day for meditation, writing and knitting. I’ve been going to bed at 9:00 p.m. and waking at 4:45 a.m. to get a head start. Now, personally, I could easily sleep until judgment day. I prefer sleeping in, breakfast in bed and going to bed early. Still, my need to do something that is genuinely for me has prompted me to make drastic changes. As a result I’ve determined that the all-about-me timeÂ should commence before the girls wake upÂ (around 7:30 a.m.). Â I wish the corresponding action were as easy as the declaration, but we all know thatÂ every big change has a few obstacles; and myÂ obstacles are…the Nevels’ Girls!
DUN DUN DUN!!!!
Yesterday I awoke at 4:45 a.m. to my alarm singing Coldplay’s “We Never Change,” a song I deliberately selected to taunt me into rising and shining. I jumped out of bed and headed for coffee with a list of all of the things that I wanted to accomplish. But following coffee and a quick devotion, J- Buddah awoke with a frantic cry for milk! It was 6:00 a.m.!
Well, nursing Jada turned into entertaining Jada and before I knew it, Â Zoe was bounding upstairs with a frantic cry for attention! So, I spent the remaining hour splashing words on a blank screen whileÂ defending my keyboard from wandering fingers, elbows and toes. ItÂ was a rocky start, but tomorrow would be better, right?
This morning at 4:45 a.m. exactly, instead of Coldplay challenging me to a morning of change, I was challenged by footsteps on the stairs, the clanging of the baby gate and a beaming Zoe who (as if it were previously planned) begin interpretive dancing just as my alarm cued up “We Never Change”!!! Meanwhile, Jada, still confined to her crib, began wailing at the top of her lungs for…you guessed it…MILK!
I wanted to shake my fists and curse the heavens, but I’d brought this on myself!Â I knew that every big change would require major resistance!
SoÂ I nursed Jada and placed her back in her crib, and left Phil to wrangle a restless Zoe back to sleep.
(Sigh) So what did I learn today? I learned that:
a. Change is hard!
b. Change is uncomfortable!
c. Change is easily inconvenienced!
d. Change is even harder on day 2!
e. I need to Change my alarm song!
I fought for time this morning, and it sure wasn’t easy…but then again, nothing worthwhile ever is.
What changes are you fighting for?