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I Want What You Have Because Clearly It Must Be Better

By on Jul 11, 2013

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Jada caught “red” handed indulging in a crayon before brunch!

Did you know it can start as early as 10 months after birth (if not earlier)?

The I-want-what-you-have-because-clearly-it-must-be-better-syndrome is plaguing the Nevels’ household! Now, originally I’d witnessed this syndrome with Zoe who at the ripe-old-age of 2 has been exhibiting the much talked about 2 year old behavior. The pouting, tantrums, struggle for independence and the belief that everything in our humble abode has her name scribbled across it in magic marker were all part of the new Terrible 2 phase; but I wasn’t prepared for the Terrible 10 Month phase!

The littlest of the Nevels is raising hell! Yes, sweet little doe-eyed Jada has Mommy wanting to hide her   head in the sand. I suppose in her defense I should acknowledge that I was clueless as to her ability to decipher that what she’s been eating at times is quite different from what the rest of the family is eating. Her frustration at the disparity in food choices and textures has been made manifest by swatting, wailing and body checking heaping spoons of perfectly yummy food. At the time I’d assumed that she just wasn’t hungry, but this weekend proved otherwise.

While out to brunch with family and friend, I’d been offering the girls fresh berries with their breakfast. Their fruit bowl consisted of a mix of strawberries, blueberries and blackberries of which Jada happily ate either of the 3 types of fruit — that is is until she noticed Zoe’s preference for blackberries! Upon this discovery, she made a point of swatting at every strawberry or blueberry that came her way. I was so confused (and obviously too close to the situation to understand) until a friend observed that “[Jada] wants a blackberry… like her sister!” So I selected a blackberry, and as my purple stained finger tips made their way to a seemingly inconsolable Jada, I witnessed the Peace of God suddenly eclipse her pudgy little face. She joyfully accepted the blackberry.

Following this weekend’s revelation, I begin noticing that more and more Jada had been trying to be like her big sister. She wanted her big sisters baby doll and (when no one was looking) would zip by in her walker and snatch Zoe’s PB and J sandwiches from her plate. Jada just had to have what Zoe had because the grass was obviously greener.

So what’s the point you say? Jada likes blackberries now?

Yes, Momma learned that Jada likes blackberries because Zoe likes blackberries. But Momma also  learned that I’ve been a bit hard on myself when it comes to experiencing the I-want-what-you-have-because-clearly-it-must-be-better syndrome. I consistently chide myself for looking to the left or right of me to see how my peers are “living the good life” and wondering if their grass is really greener. And while this isn’t a mindset that I approve of in daily living (as it can sometimes lead to jealousy), I now understand that this is a mindset that is intrinsic to human nature. We’re born with those feelings, but over our lifetime we actively train ourselves to run our individual races. “Stay in your lane” is how the Hubby reminds me that I’m working toward a personal best performance. We’re all works in progress.

Now at some point in time (waaaay down the line) I do intend to teach Jada that she can’t have everything that her sister has because…well…that’s just life! But in the meantime, I guess I better pick up some more blackberries!

When was the last time that you experienced the I-want-what-you-have-because-clearly-it-must-be-better syndrome and how did you shake it?

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