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Gate Keepers of Productivity

By on Nov 20, 2012

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So I’ve started back working out this 2-baby-body of mine. Part of it is out of vanity, but most of it is out of necessity. I’m looking forward to being able to bend over and touch my toes without feeling like I’m strapped in a corset, I’d love to strengthen and stretch out these glutes so that it doesn’t feel like someone is pinching my ass all the time, and as for my non-existent core muscles…well…they’re non-existent!

I decided that Yoga and Zumba would be my choice exercise regimes, but like any new venture now-a-days, I had to run it by the kids; the gate keepers of productivity.

During my first Zumba session, Zoe decided to outdo me with her fancy praise & worship arm grooves and her Jack-in-the-box hip shaking. I tried to keep a straight face so as not to encourage her hammy ways but it just proved too much for me. I moved on to Yoga and even rolled out two mats, one for me and one for Zoe, but of course Zoe preferred mine. And as I flowed from pose to pose I was spoon-fed all kinds of delectable fake foods; in Updog I was served sauteed tomatoes, in Plank I was served a carrot which was followed by a large pot of imaginary goualash in Down Dog. In an attempt to escape being force-fed, I cleverly moved on to Childs pose and tucked my chin toward my chest but she decided to serenade me by banging on her xylophone with the carrot. I finally gave up when she subjected me to giggly, snotty kisses while in Shoulderstand. Meanwhile Little Miss Jada was all smiles as she watched Zoe do the bidding for the both of them.

I was overfed and literally had my yoga mat slipped from underneath me; my workout was over.

It’s not easy stealing moments for myself with two girls under the age of two, so I’m definitely going to need help. I originally contemplated posting “the before” pictures with the hope that having such a wretched photo on-line would force me to stick to my workout regardless of the girls’ interference, but I’m frightened that if you were to see me in the flesh you’d find my before pictures better than my after. So I guess it’s up to me to hold myself accountable for getting it in gear, but if for some reason that doesn’t happen, well you heard it here first…the gate keepers wouldn’t let me do it!

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