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Frazzled in my Fryes

By on Oct 12, 2012

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Friends of ours got married this week and their special celebration left me frazzled!

I suppose part of it was my fault. Me and the girls went to the Apple Orchard again, but this time with Grandma in tow. I knew we had the evening wedding (which was on a weekday) and that I wouldn’t have the help of Phil because he’d be at work…still, I just couldn’t pass up a fun day trip with Mom and the girls. We drove the 45 minutes to Hobart, IN and had a ball! Zoe tried to sit on every pumpkin she could find, Grandma was excited to have fresh air, Baby Jada was happy to cuddle with me in her kangaroo pouch and I was just as pleased as punch. Needless to say our anticipated 2 hour day trip turned into 5 when following the petting zoo and lunch we opted to go round and round the orchard on the Tractor ride. But this temporary bliss meant there would be hell to pay later…the wedding was at 6 p.m.

We made it home by 4:30 p.m. and it was a mad dash to get dressed. My mother chased Zoe around the house with soap, a diaper and her dress, which made Zoe work even harder to stay just out of reach. Baby Jada alternated between fretful wake and fretful sleep while I rushed around crazed and frazzled hoping to mask just how disheveled I’d become.

Before I knew it, 5:50 p.m. was upon us and Phil was calling, but all that was left to do was grab my purse, keys, snacks and slip on my boots. Well, that’s how it should have unfolded…somehow I got caught up on the “slip on my boots” part.

You see, I neglected to say that these were new Frye Boots, a splurge purchase to make me feel fashion forward and hip, and they didn’t quite slip on. In the past I’ve heard the saying that you should “never go into battle with an untried weapon” but I had no idea that it also applied to footwear! My fabulous new boots were so new that I couldn’t slip them on my feet. In fact, I could hardly get them passed my toes! I spent nearly 10 precious, I-should-be-loading-the-girls-in-the-car minutes, wrangling my boots. I tried standing, sitting, pulling, with socks and without, plastic bag on, plastic bag off, and all while Zoe attempted removing her own shoes, while Jada yelled at me from heat exhaustion and hunger and while my Mother looked on in amusement….

…I won that boot battle! And no one would have ever guessed that I had a foot clothed in 1 comfy sock in my left boot and a bare foot clothed in 1 plastic bag in the right boot.

Out the door we scurried. We were definitively late for the wedding.

When we arrived Phil ran out to meet us only to find that I hadn’t nursed Jada and that a crying fit was inevitable if I didn’t do it soon. We parked the car and he and Zoe left for the wedding while Jada and I handled the milk exchange. When we’d finally made it inside the church and located our seats, I let out a big (but quiet) sigh and so did Jada, although hers wasn’t as quiet and was followed up by a grunt, fart, and poo explosion…in that order…5 rounds total! These bodily functions were so incessant and the room was so quiet that it alarmed the guests sitting in front and behind us! I was mortified!

Now I wasn’t mortified for the reason that you might expect. You would think it would have concerned me that everyone was turning to look at my Little Shittymon…but no…I was concerned that Jada might have leaked poo out of her pamper onto her dress and mine, especially since it was Grandma who changed her pamper (who coincidentally asked me on several occasions to check her work)! I couldn’t rush to the restroom because the restroom was at the front of the room (of course). So by the time we made it to the changing room, Jada had poo midway up her back and smeared on the inside lining of her dress (which I admit I simply wiped clean) and the very edge of her tights (which I wiped and rolled down a bit). I know, I know…you might be thinking that I should have changed her completely…but the girls and I were perfectly matched in black and white polka dot dresses!!!! :-)

You might have guessed that we didn’t stick around too long after the ceremony ended. We had one cranky baby, one shitty baby, one frazzled Mommy and one Daddy trying desperately to keep it together. When we got home Phil and I did our famous tag team effort of bathing the girls and getting them to bed. I cancelled all Mommy plans that I’d made for the following day and we stayed in to recover. This Momma Bear was worn out, depleted, dog tired, exhausted and drained.

So what did I learn?

I learned that:

a. I can only have one destination per day with the girls
b. Put new Frye boots on first and clothing second
c. Bring a change of clothing for Jada that fits the occasion
d. Handle all diaper changes before special outings

It’s taking a few trials and errors to get this Mother of 2 babies down-packed, but I’m not giving up. We’ve got a lot more special events and outings to wear our matching polka dot dresses!

Can you recall a time in which you were so thoroughly frazzled?

Here are a few photos from that crazy crazy day….

Zoe finds the perfect pumpkin seat!

Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere

Grandma and Zoe at the Petting Zoo

Riding on the Tractor for the 2nd Go-round
Me and the Girls in our Polka Dot Dresses

Zoe is off and running and Jada hates being left behind

Zoe = Meltdown; Jada = “What the hell happened”; Momma and Papa Nevels = It’s time to get the hellouttahere

Last photo before our mad dash for the door

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