So I’ve been a Momma now for 5 months and 3 weeks (or something close to that, the weeks trip me up). I love waking up to Zoe’s smiling face and then coaxing her back to sleep for an added 4 minutes of blissful sleep. I love hugging and kissing her and coordinating her outfits for our next big adventure. I love watching her discover which also affords me the opportunity to be a kid again. But despite all of this magic that’s happening daily, there is still a part of me that gets a little lonely at times.
I know it’s silly. How can I be alone when I’ve got Zoe?!?! But Zoe can’t speak English yet! She doesn’t understand my corny jokes yet, nor does she realize the random happenings that we encounter some days; it’s all new to her. So over the last few months I’ve been attending a few Mommy Meet-up groups to find the one Mommy and Baby that I have something remotely in common with (besides having had a baby). I seriously feel like I’m in grammar school again hoping that I make a new friend tomorrow, except in this case I’m not forced to sit next to anyone.
Now I consider myself a pretty social person. I’m pretty easy to talk to and I’m super considerate of others. I like to be silly and laugh, I’m a good listener and advisor and I LOVE trying new things. But after a few dozen meet-ups, I’m still left preferring my own company, at least until I start babbling again to myself in baby chatter.
What is it about making friends when you’re older that makes it so much harder to “like” or to “leap” into someone else’s world? It all seemed so much easier as a kid. You liked people based on their humor, their style, their confidence, their compassion. They might have had some flaws but you were always forgiving and were good friends in spite of it. Have I become less accepting in my older age? Can this sort of discernment be feeding my solitude?
My life is different now that I have Zoe. Every other sentence is about how she amazes me, and every other adventure is to the Zoo. I have to stop to nurse her at least once during every activity and I feel guilty if her pamper hasn’t been changed within the hour. It takes a certain person to empathize with what goes into mothering, and the deck gets smaller when you throw in your desire for a compatible friend with similar ideals and interests.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met some wonderful wonderful Momma’s. I’m just hoping to find a BFF in the Momma category to have fun and share my new life with. So I decided to go old school and put an ad in the newspaper. Here goes it:
Momma Mina seeking another Momma Bear to befriend. Momma Bear must have an infant between the months of 3-12 and must live in the Chicago area. Preferably married but not required, but access to a babysitter is a plus. This Momma Bear must be funny, kind, sympathetic, artsy, and above all a loving Momma. Good hygiene is a must and Momma Bears under the age of 25 need not apply.
I’d like to humor myself that she’s out there somewhere…looking for me (sniff, sniff).
LOL! Wish me Luck!